As if we’re the only ones in the universe… It’s pretty arrogant to think we’re the only ones… Do we listen to the crew? Or the Captain of the ship? … Continue reading These days, we have to prove how much love we have for humans, but not how much love we have for God…
What do you call a beautiful woman who’s surrounded by seven hundred regular-looking people? The actress
Politics is like a chemistry set: those who fool with it blow themselves up
Long ago, dinosaurs lived on one side of the world and humans lived on the other Now, new dinosaurs live on one side of the world and we live on the other
Jesus said, “I pray for them: I pray not for the world.”
That explains a lot… That is why atheists, agnostics, people of other faiths, and others don’t believe that Jesus is the only begotten Son of God. But the Bible explains that we must study it and wait for God. And the Bible is the only place we can meet God, it says.
I couldn’t sleep so, at three o’clock in the morning, I turned on my radio and heard this commercial: “Receive compensation for lung cancer! Call now! Attorneys are standing by…” What! Attorneys are standing by? At three o’clock in the morning! I’ll call, just to talk to one…
Three brothers built a tree fort with their father and had a big club up there. The oldest brother was a young scientist; the middle son was an aspiring artist; and the youngest one was very religious. And since they were young, just eight, seven and six, and greatly loved by their family and friends, they weren’t insecure and followed each brother’s enthusiasms. When the eldest conducted an experiment, for instance, they all helped. When the middle child drew pictures of nature, they all colored them in. And when the youngest boy read from the Bible, they knew they would learn something. Since they helped their dog get up in the fort, and their cat climbed up, everyone in the neighborhood wanted to join them up there. One big kid bribed the youngest son with candy and got the password and tried to come up. Another beat up the middle son and used the password. And one threatened to tell on the oldest boy and got the password that way. That’s where the club comes in: the brothers beat them over their heads with it and kept them from entering…
When I’m with my Daddy, even the big kids are afraid of me!
God, please bless America
God, please bless America And, the rest of the world It’s a mess, like America God, please bless all the world From the seniors to the infants The adults to boys and girls God, please bless America And, the rest of the world For the people who’ve been given all your gold and all… Continue reading God, please bless America
I had an old, flat pillow and I woke up with neck aches, so I got a new, fluffy one and now it’s even worse: I don’t want to get out of bed!
I think I’ll go back to the old pillow. At least I’ll get to work on time…
I met my friends who were already seated in the restaurant. They introduced me to a new woman and we got acquainted. “What do you do in your spare time?” I asked while all were sipping their drinks. “I like to go to the shore,” she said. “You must have a good body…”
I thought… But did not say…
Winter is over, and that’s good. And now, I feel something soft where the hard ground used to be. But that’s not good! No! Not good! Not good!
My boy died this morning. He was eighteen and a good boy…
Handsome-Sam… He was all-black with the a little bit of white on his breast, that you can see, here, and on his stomach. Samuel was an eight month-old stray kitten from Newark when I got him around 1998. He was chasing some other cats around a friend’s sister and brother-in-law’s house in Westfield, New Jersey when he came over… Continue reading My boy died this morning. He was eighteen and a good boy…
I knew I wouldn’t win a Pulitzer or a Nobel Peace Prize because of the nature of this website. I always knew who I was dealing with…
Life is the ruin of this, the beauty of that. Who cares! The question is: Do we love God? When we are on our own we can get into trouble When we are far from home when we are all alone we are in a strange country ‘Cause we are like… Continue reading I knew I wouldn’t win a Pulitzer or a Nobel Peace Prize because of the nature of this website. I always knew who I was dealing with…
True story: A wife and her family moved from New Jersey to Florida and couldn’t get rid of the insects in her house. They had exterminators come in twice, but they still couldn’t rid themselves of cockroaches and other nasty bugs. Then she invited her friends over and when one asked where the stopper was she asked, “What’s a stopper?” “You don’t know what a stopper is?” the friend asked. The wife shook her head. “It’s what you put in the drain…” The wife stood there, with a puzzled look. “In the KITCHEN sink!” “No. We don’t have one of those.” The wife’s friend shook her head. “No wonder you have a problem with bugs!” She turned to her friends: “She doesn’t have a stopper…”
My friend and I went out to dinner in North Jersey and our waitress told us she just moved back from Texas: “I couldn’t stand it there,” she said. “They have cockroaches twice as big as ours and they fly!” “What part of Texas?” “Houston.” I was relieved, because I’d like to move to San Antonio. “It’s the tropical weather,” I said. “They say they need a good “killing frost” to kill off most of them or they’ll be inundated.” “One flew towards me and I ran into the bathroom and locked the door. I’m not afraid of much but bugs I can’t stand!” “Me, too.” I said. “Can I interest you guys in some appetizers? Our special, tonight, is fried escargot.” “Fried snails!” “It’s good!” I turned to my friend: “What are you getting?” “I just want a salad,” he said. “Salad sounds good,” I said. “What kind of dressing?” she asked. “You are just bombarding us with questions!”
John Adams rode his horse at a leisurely pace through the snow near Boston during the American Revolution. His feet were frozen but he kept going…
We’ve made a lot of progress since then. We still have horses, but now people ride to work in cars and trucks – and even planes. I’d like to buy a new vehicle but I wouldn’t get a lot of money for my old one. I wouldn’t be able to get anything fancy. I might be able to afford a… Continue reading John Adams rode his horse at a leisurely pace through the snow near Boston during the American Revolution. His feet were frozen but he kept going…
The people at the table in front of me are all gazing attentively into their iPacifiers instead of talking with each other, now that they’ve finished eating. They look pathetic. Three out of four of them are holding them six inches from their faces except one of them, the oldest woman, who’s just sitting there, with nothing to do. I feel like telling her: you ought to get yourself a friend. But the friend I’m thinking of is an electronic device…
Did I mention it’s pathetic?
How do you know a fool when you see one? DON’T get to know a fool! DON’T see one! Just stay away. Fools are closed-minded, though they don’t know it. Don’t hang around with them or you’ll get to be the same way…
I was a star…with my friends today I was a star…with my family I was a star…in life’s wilderness Who’s left to impress? Except you And you’re never impressed So, I hate you
When you’re with me I’m taller than a tree, I’m walking free and all want to know me
Stuck here in the trenches of this nasty war Watching all my steps as planes above us roar I have been encouraged, so I’ll do the same Don’t you ever worry, just call out my name Call my name
A friend was singing a song near me: “Keep that song in your heart,” I said. “Oh! You like it?” she asked. “No. I mean sing it to yourself.” “Oh.”
♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ But I’m old, short, stupid and deaf, so, for all I know, she was singing: “Get out of here, old, dumb guy…’cause I don’t like your kind: short, skinny, weak…” ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ I wish I could sleep through this life, like a future… Continue reading A friend was singing a song near me: “Keep that song in your heart,” I said. “Oh! You like it?” she asked. “No. I mean sing it to yourself.” “Oh.”
The Arctic blast has frozen the New York/New Jersey metropolitan area. Don’t come in here unless you’re warm…
It’s cold outside. But it’s warm in here.
“Hey, Larry!” I said to a friend. “What’s your REAL name? Larold?” “Lartholemew.” “That would have been my next guess…”
“What time is it, Larry?” “You tell me!” I’ll tell you… And he pressed upon them greatly: and they turned in unto him, and entered into his house; and he made them a feast, and did bake unleavened bread, and they did eat. But before they lay down, the men of the city,… Continue reading “Hey, Larry!” I said to a friend. “What’s your REAL name? Larold?” “Lartholemew.” “That would have been my next guess…”
True story: Recently, I made pictures for my blog at the library. I searched and found a narrow, four-foot table with three chairs under it and put fifty pens and pencils, a drawing pad and my backpack on it and was ready to begin. Then, a man with earphones and an iPhone appeared. “Can I sit here?” he asked. “No,” I said. But he sat down anyway. I didn’t want anybody using me as an iPacifier to distract me from my work so I went to see a librarian. She told him I needed the table to work. He claimed there was no other place to plug-in his unit and she told him he could plug-in anywhere. “This is harassment,” he complained. That sent chills down my spine. Eventually, the librarian said there was nothing she could do for me. I didn’t say a word and went back to the table, packed my things and walked out of the building. I was just glad he didn’t follow me outside…
People who value things differently than other people cannot impose their values on them if they don’t agree. They should agree to disagree, and leave it. And go their separate ways. But what happens if there aren’t anymore places to go to? People with differing values who live in peace is a beautiful thing. Why don’t… Continue reading True story: Recently, I made pictures for my blog at the library. I searched and found a narrow, four-foot table with three chairs under it and put fifty pens and pencils, a drawing pad and my backpack on it and was ready to begin. Then, a man with earphones and an iPhone appeared. “Can I sit here?” he asked. “No,” I said. But he sat down anyway. I didn’t want anybody using me as an iPacifier to distract me from my work so I went to see a librarian. She told him I needed the table to work. He claimed there was no other place to plug-in his unit and she told him he could plug-in anywhere. “This is harassment,” he complained. That sent chills down my spine. Eventually, the librarian said there was nothing she could do for me. I didn’t say a word and went back to the table, packed my things and walked out of the building. I was just glad he didn’t follow me outside…
Some are looking for life on other planets… Isn’t the life good enough for them here? Some are looking for another habitable planet. They want to ruin another perfectly good one…
They want to find another god who’ll be a little less godly and accept them on their terms… Or else they can’t live with themselves… We’re bound for nowhere, in particular, now Few of the passengers would care, anyhow Most think we’re going to Mars, or heaven-bound Of course, the Captain has been walking around Making… Continue reading Some are looking for life on other planets… Isn’t the life good enough for them here? Some are looking for another habitable planet. They want to ruin another perfectly good one…
Remember when Halloween was only for children? It still is…
Four Christian brothers and sisters visited a castle. They were two black sisters and two white men, and they attended a Bible study together. The castle was a state-park castle, and it was around Halloween, so there were a lot of childish bats and mannequins of people who lived in the castle a hundred and fifty years ago dressed in… Continue reading Remember when Halloween was only for children? It still is…
I can’t do anything right: I got new clothes, a new place, a new car, and a new razor that I pressed so hard with when I shaved that I became the first metrosexual redneck…
I love all the people where I work so it’s easy to do a good job but that’s not what love is… LOVE MAKES BAD THINGS GOOD! Make yourself available Try to be agreeable And don’t be unreasonable Don’t be lazy with me Or get crazy you see I just can’t… Continue reading I can’t do anything right: I got new clothes, a new place, a new car, and a new razor that I pressed so hard with when I shaved that I became the first metrosexual redneck…
I know you’re a jealous God, but do you have to be with me every minute of the day? Even in the bathroom? And with all of those angels around. Come on!
In the “twinkling of an eye” everything will be made new; so no one will know the old when made new. Nothing to be embarrassed about…ever again. Great performing violinist Niccolo Paganini, may we all be like him He had a good attitude in his act Minus one string, two strings,… Continue reading I know you’re a jealous God, but do you have to be with me every minute of the day? Even in the bathroom? And with all of those angels around. Come on!
Woo! Halloween is scary and fun. But if you want a real scare, ask someone to wallpaper a room with you. You’ll see how scary things get. And if they actually DO help you, they’ll complain so much you’ll wish you’d have done it yourself…
Dear sister, I’m patient with you, and it’s a miracle We’re not alone in the universe, you know as evidenced by how we spend our time… Who you hang around with is who you’re like
“Are you doing anything special this weekend?” a co-worker asked me. “I’m going into the city,” I said. “Me, too!” he said. “I’ll look for you.”
I’m going to the city. But not to see the Knicks… I love the National Basketball Association, but my favorite team is the San Antonio Spurs. Tim Duncan, Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili are their star players, and they have role-players on their team who play smaller roles, but they all play… Continue reading “Are you doing anything special this weekend?” a co-worker asked me. “I’m going into the city,” I said. “Me, too!” he said. “I’ll look for you.”
“Look at that pumpkin!” I said about a co-worker’s jack o’ lantern. “Isn’t that scary?” she said. “That’s how I look,” I said, “when I first wake up.”
Not really. I look worse!
The music sounds like marching-music. Where do they think they’re they marching to? Nobody’s going anywhere…
Johann Sebastian Bach’s “Brandenburg Concertos” is on my i-Pacifier. His music was rejected by a sovereign for Telemann’s music that is long forgotten…
Life is full of tests. But it’s also full of deceptions. (So most people don’t know if they’re winning or losing.) Fortunately, all you need is one good friend. Unfortunately, it’s not me. But I can introduce you…
“And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread. But he answered and said, It is written, MAN SHALL NOT LIVE BY BREAD ALONE, BUT BY EVERY WORD THAT PROCEDETH OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD.” (Matthew 4:3-4)
Scientists are warning nations to end all major warfare before tectonic forces “cause plates to shift, moving whole continents”. Jefferson Scotland, of the Texas Geological Institute, says countries only have to refrain from fighting for a short time: “For two years. That will give the plates time to lock-in,” he says. “Or else we could see what has happened in the past: Italy breaking away from Africa and pushing up against southern Europe to form the Alps; India pushing southern Asia to form an even bigger mountain chain: the Himalayas; and North America and South America moving westward, causing the Rockies and the Andes. That will change climates, drastically. It’s needless to say it will destroy ecosystems, animal life, countries and cities. Oh. And people, too.”
No fighting for two years. That’s not too much to ask…
It pays to be poor: Since my favorite radio station was sold, and not broadcasting anymore, I’m now listening to a jazz station – and actually liking it! I once told a friend that I thought jazz sounded frivolous, but this stuff is good! But I’m as stubborn as the next guy so I wouldn’t have found this music if I had tons of money and could listen to whatever I wanted…
This weekend I had nothing scheduled (except to watch the World Cup Finals) and I was too tired to do anything so I just rested, and did nothing. I did nothing, all weekend. What an experience! I did nothing and, surprisingly, I was inspired with plans and fun things to do I couldn’t have thought of… Continue reading It pays to be poor: Since my favorite radio station was sold, and not broadcasting anymore, I’m now listening to a jazz station – and actually liking it! I once told a friend that I thought jazz sounded frivolous, but this stuff is good! But I’m as stubborn as the next guy so I wouldn’t have found this music if I had tons of money and could listen to whatever I wanted…
The world is OUT OF CONTROL! because too many people want to be IN CONTROL! How do we know when to let go?
We could ask…
I’d rather be on a team that’s losing, for now, but wins! in the end than on one that’s winning, right now, but guaranteed to lose…
I’m going visit my parents and watch the Spurs-Heat game. We’ll spend some quality family-time together in front of the boob-tube…
My friends are a pain, sometimes – growing pains
When the mountain’s too high sometimes the mountain will come down for us…
Oh, the nice Christian boy! He’s so sweet! ‘Cept when he talks about justice, and Judgment Day Just a nice Christian boy… He’s too deep! Yes, the mountain’s too tall! It’s way too tall! And we’re so small… But when the mountain’s too high sometimes the mountain will come down for us